MY FAVORITE DUO....

"DA-DA-DUM...."

IT'S CAPTAIN CHAOS!

"Have no fear...."HIM" is here"

"J.J....Long time no see"

AND J.J. McCLURE
[ Burt Reyonlds & Dom Deluise...for those too young to know]

Time to go watch "The Cannonball Run" (1981) movie again.....


Will miss seeing Dom in the future...:(


Can you imagine what his Orb will be like.....?:)

I think Santa Claus is a Woman....
by Monica Lewis (originally published in the Erie Times News)

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she.

Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!

For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman. Surely, if Santa were a man, everyone in the universe would wake on Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag.

Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped onto the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist. Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds -- and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.

Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man:
-A man can't pack a bag.
-Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.
-Men would feel their masculinity is threatened...having to be seen with all those elves.
-Men don't answer their mail.
-A man would refuse to allow his physique to be described, even in jest, as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly."
-Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them.
-Having to do the "Ho Ho Ho" thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women.
-Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.

I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men ...
-Father Time shows up once a year, unshaven and looking ominous. Definite guy.
-Cupid flies around carrying weapons.
-Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers.
Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening test.

But not St. Nick. Not a chance!

WORDS WOMEN USE

FINE

This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use “fine” to describe how a woman looks – this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it’s an even trade.

NOTHING

This means “something” and you should be on your toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually signifies an argument that will last “five minutes” and end with “fine”.

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows!)

This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over “Nothing” and will end with the word “Fine”.

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)

This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get a "Raised Eyebrows Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means that she thinks you are an idiot at the moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing”.

SOFT SIGH

Again not a word, but a non-verbal statement. “Soft Sighs” mean that she is content. Your best bet is not to move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT’S OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. “That’s Okay” is often used with the word “Fine” and in conjunction with a “Raised Eyebrow”

GO AHEAD!

At some time in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO

This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for whatever it that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn’t get a “That’s Okay’

THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not! Faint! Just say “You’re welcome”.

THANKS A LOT

This is much different from “Thanks”. A woman will say “Thanks a Lot” when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the “Loud Sigh”. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the “Loud Sigh” as she will only tell you “Nothing”

I just had to share this with you all out there...men should print this out and memorize this...lol

I came across this on a 66 yr old woman's site called "Old Age Is A Bitch"! She is really funny and I hope I can remain the same at her age!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

...CONMAN & FUNNY LADY






Still looking good after all those years!

Quote:

"The couple that plays together...stays together"




May you have many more years to play!

QUOTES:

SEX IS LIKE AIR

...it only becomes really important when you aren't getting any.

......Maharishi Phucknuckel's Guide to Zen