Giving It Another Try ?

It's been awhile since I have been back here...recording my life?

Decided to pop in and see what I was doing 6 years ago and man have I changed! It felt weird reading it ...like a whole different person has emerged!

My life did a 360 and completely changed!

I left off with eye issue problems and not being able to navigate on here like I used to...the eye issue was a case of allergy to tomatoes! So no more tomatoes and found peas to be a problem that can't be eaten either! Still have skin issues around the eyes and corners of the mouth...? "But oh well!" [Which is a new saying for me]

The navigating might be a problem as I try to get used to this again and I do have the time to be back...I have missed being on here and will be checking on the post that I did enjoy before!

It was also during that time that my body started failing me! I was becoming weaker and weaker and trying to keep my business going was getting harder and harder. So much that my daughter POD was having to do the majority of all of it for me! Right around then the oil field work came to a halt and work from the town/areas dried up as well! Debts were piling up! Then the big blow came when my business machines [cutter] called it quits too! June 2016 saw me retire and I had hit the age of 65!

So I shut it all down and moved into a senior's lodge! Seeing as I couldn't sell the sign business because there was no work in that field here. I had nothing left value wise that wasn't covering debts incurred trying to make it work out...so now the government helps to support me instead!

I AM much happier now!!!!

....lt's see if this works and if it does I will be back....

AM I BACK?

Don't know for sure...

What I do know, is that I have missed talking out loud [typing] on here rather than have it running around in my head? After all this was supposed to be my diary to my family/friends...a sort of record of who I am/was without them needing to wonder after I die. Right now I have a 2 year gap that cannot be easily explained other than mostly eye problems making it too hard to read/type and other personal crap hitting the fan that made me back away for awhile. Financial problems can be harmful on mental health and Aquarians have a tendency to back off, want to be on their own to strengthen their resolves and that's just what I did.

Right now PoD is deep into researching her [our] family heritage by building the family tree. She has some from one cousin who started my mother's side but nothing clear of my dad's side. The most interesting I feel is my father's side of the family [so far] which I had stumbled across and wrote about it on here. One of the most disturbing facts being the age range of death, which is quite young [36-54]. The other facts is how hard to find anything about anyone is because they leave so little of themselves in written history.

Way back when, people kept written diaries, mostly men, this is how relatives kept track of their histories. I used to when I was 13 or 14 until my older sister found it and showed it to everyone and my innocent ways were ridiculed so I quit it. Sadly I wished I had kept it up as those brain cells got washed away in my foolish 20's binges or maybe it was a good thing?

With the family's health history, my health issues, not to mention friends younger than me dying lately has me re thinking about what does one leave as their last obit?

PoD has come across many a family member's mark history on my dad's side only because they did something that was noteworthy. Other than that nothing! This makes it hard to trace your family tree...harder if you have native blood and more so if you were female!

But that was in that day when there were no computers!

This blog has been surprising looked at by many people all over the world and by this people can find each other including family tree building. When I started looking into the tree I quickly ran out of sources to find anyone. Since PoD's started a week or so ago she has scored loads of info!

Right now this is as far as I can go as the rapid eye movement causes extreme nausea...;{

Not to mention a blog format I am not used to.....

WARNING

GROSS LOOKING PICTURES IN THIS POST!

LOOKING AT LIFE THROUGH THESE 60 YEAR OLD
WRINKLY EYE LIDS...

[it hurts to pluck the eyebrow area...forget adding makeup]

Has been pretty rough lately...the excess skin [better known as wrinkles] around my eyes has formed itchy, oozing, swollen, crusty sores that I thought might be cold sores [herpes] but turned out not to be....:) for the herpes part...not for the sores part

It had gotten so bad that the left eye hardly opens enough to see out of! It makes me look like I've had a stroke!


Doc diagnosed as a bad case of eczema and is supposed to be able to be cleared up with a cortisone cream which ended up burning my eyes when it got into them. The label did say to not get it too close to the eye?

So why did the doctor prescribe this, seeing as it is around my eyes?

My Pharmacist prescribed something better that doesn't hurt when it does
and it seems to be working....

Somewhat better?

Only now I have noticed that the cataract in my left eye has gotten worse than the right eye and seeing through the two together makes for some very nauseating moments not to mention weird viewing!


Designing anything right now is a nightmare! There was a logo competition that I had to miss because of the pain of my eyes. I have a customer that needs his design plans finished for his invention....etc


So is writing and or reading of blogs!


I miss reading all the blogs that interest me and when I do manage, I can't leave comments on those who have word verification...:(

As I sit here typing, my eyes about 6 inches from the key board... the monitor is about a foot from my face and the light is killing my eyes...


I can hardly wait for the 27th! That's the left eye turn to be fixed...oh how I dread and long for it a the same time...


Still need to up date a lot and I have 2 haunted court house investigation to report on too...


So bear with me and all my crappy problems...


One happy note...


I got my Halloween decorations up outside AND inside!


Both before Oct. 1 !



I decorate in the dark...so that fun part hasn't been taken away...



YET!

AN UNEXPECTED GUEST...

Let me take you into what my blog is really about...hence it's title!

I for one believe that the loved ones who are deceased are not really gone from our lives and I like to think that they join us whenever they are needed and I have a nice story to tell you if you are willing to believe that it could be true....


Sat. Sept. 3 was the wedding day of a guy who spent many hours growing up with my kids. My son and him were in the same grade and were best buds for awhile.

It was great news hearing that he was tying the knot and that we were invited as he and my son had drifted apart...but then this is a small town so people really don't drift that far...

Anyways we had all decided to attend the wedding which meant dragging my son [all of us] to the church part! My kids were not brought up with a religion and have thanked me many times for that fact of not having to face the Sunday torture of having be preached over. But I do believe that if someone needs to get married in a church then THAT'S their prerogative but we should honor it and so we did...

With a lot of squirming and fidgeting and we all must of suffer from A.D.D but that wasn't our fault either...have you ever sat through a wedding that held a service too and that was officiated by someone who had a hard time with the English language?

All I kept hearing was him call the bride Allicia when her name was Alyssa and go on and on about someone named Sarah? Those whom I talked to afterwards said that they were used to his lack of English skills and normally he speaks through a mike...but that wouldn't have mattered anyways when one couldn't understand him period!

We did sit at the back of the church so we weren't bothering anyone with our in attentiveness.

I was also sitting on the aisle seat so I could take pictures of the bride/groom as they came in and this kept me busy for awhile until sermon time. I don't quite know how to explain this next part because I know the majority of those reading this will shake their heads and say that my mind is slipping again...but then why should I care what they think!


This is what happened...

A very loud thought came into my head and said "look up and take a picture"...so I did


Right above me in the 16th shot of the day was this large Orb! It was very bright on my camera and shocked me and something told me to look back and take another one...

I took lots more of the ceiling and everywhere in the church after those two but captured nothing...not even dust motes!

I also got the feeling of who it was too...

The grooms dad, Gord!

The feeling that this was him increased as the evening went on...the next questionable shot is #37 when they were cutting the cake.

We were only invited to the dance, so I wasn't able to take shots of the supper festivities but through these next shots it may show you some questionable spots that I like to call Orbs. The below photo shows them very faint although the one above the bride has a brighter edging to it.

The shot right after the above one came out all blurry EXCEPT for the Orb, which seems to be fairly clear looking. It also has a strong aura ringing it too! This took lots of power to show it this clearly and the fact that the camera focus on IT!

If any of you have been following my Orb quest most will know that this is a rare one with lots of definition to it! You will also see that this same Orbs shows up lots more in my photos.

The shot below which was #39... shows the size as smaller and what might be matrixed as a smiley face? I think there is someone there from her side as well, just not as strong as Gord's Orb. I think he really wanted to be seen as most of my shots after the cake cutting was from inner urgings that cannot be explained.


The next shot [#44] below is what I would call dust mote orbs and moisture orbs from the fog machine but who knows what Orb might be hiding amongst them dancing the night away....;}

As most know at weddings there is a lot of pranking stuff going on like; all the women have to dance with the groom and the guys for the bride. A normally shy guy did very well on the dance floor and seem to be having a great time and


Was also being watched...

This is another strong Orb behind the groom and has that same strong aura as the large one...was his dad on the dance floor too?

Keeping a close eye on him?

The bride had some of her followers too...

Although it did look like the large orb hung around too...

My last shot of the evening captured these three Orbs trying to get in on the photo action too?

The final largest Orb seem to match the one in the 4th photo from above and both of them has a bright aura around it that is quite thick.

As far as I am concerned the groom's dad suffered much in life with MS and lost his life because of it. It's fitting as far as I am concerned that he got to float around his family, to be there in spirit and hopefully they felt him there like I did!


And thank you Gord for the privileged of showing me what I have suspected all along!


PS:

Must add that my family and I thoroughly enjoyed the evening! I got to dance with my daughter and grand children and watch BillyRoo [son] hide whenever we got the urge to jump around.

This wedding also confirmed to him that he'd elope to Vegas before going through what he just watched his friend go through..."a walking nightmare" in his eyes!

Little does he know...that when the "love of his life" wants what she wants and it's a big wedding....I foresee trouble in their future...;}


But not to worry there doesn't seem to be any "love" interests hanging around...
him or me....:)

THERE IS A SHINNING LIGHT SOMETIMES!!!

My grand daughter, AJ, started back to school this year with an apprehensive feeling, dreading another dismal year of loneliness at school...;(

But also along with this apprehension was the strength to face those mean spirited peers with a strong will to win out in the end!

This is what I LOVE about my grand daughter the most! Her STRENGTH and WILL to forge ahead no matter what others think of her....:)

Do they judge her by her looks...?

She is tall, over-weight and extremely shy.....with a hidden disability...dyslexia.

Why the kids at her school have shunned her...I DON'T KNOW?

Her being dyslexic meant that she had to be in a "special education" class for some subjects [not any more though she's near being a honor student now].

But was this the problem for getting to know her?

If so, that's their LOSS!


But, like I said...

There is a shinning light to this post!

My dyslexic grand daughter just pulled off something that even I have never accomplished in life!


SHE IS HAVING ONE OF HER POEMS PUBLISHED IN A BOOK!


I AM SOOOOOOOOOOO PROUD OF HER!!!!!


I whine about having poor eyesight when this girl looks through mixed up signals daily in her brain all the time and comes up with an accomplishment like that!

AMAZING as far as I am concerned!

For this girl...writing poetry/stories and drawing is all that she has to express herself with and I am SOOOOOO happy that she has been given this talent to help off set some of the hurts that has to live with.

Only some may not like what they see and read of her work as it is very dark right now but I KNOW that this too will change as her life lightens. Right now the stuff she does has a shock factor to it and I like the challenge she puts out to others because of it. If you knew her life you'd know why too!

I have to acknowledge the helping hand that this girl found at her school. Her shining light...their Librarian...Bobbi Hebron!

AJ spent most of her spare time helping and hanging out there due to the personal exile at school and this woman took her under her wing. Through her encouragement she gave AJ the courage to submit something for publishing and take the chance to be rejected. [This is something I have a fear of and loath competitions because of it]. She has done sooooo much for this girl that words can never be found to express how thankful I am that this kind of person does exist!

She also helped put the museum back together and has gotten us our Paranormal Room

Sadly, she will be moving away and this town is going to be short one great person!

Anyways....

AJ submitted one poem and one short story. The story didn't make it but the poem did! It was a contest open to anyone 14 and older. She received her letter, of acceptance the other day, of making the publishing level and now goes on to the prizes level. As far as I am concerned she already got the prize and the other would just be the icing on the cake!

Soon as Bobbi found out the good news she let everybody know and AJ's life at school changed that day!

She received LOTS of congratulations from many who never have given her the time of day and I hope things have started to change for her. She's in Grade 9 this year and hopefully a start of a new era for her but one has to wait and see...


I hate having to add a negative to such a happy tale but I have found that fame fades quickly and some people never grow up!

Only I KNOW that my wonderful grand daughter will always have the courage deep inside of her to persevere through whatever is thrown at her!


Maybe I should be thanking those mean kids for forcing her towards learning rather than having a good time!

naw..........


I'd rather see a happy child ALL of the time!


ANYWAYS....


CONGRATULATION AJ!


KEEPING ON SHOCKING THEM GIRL!


LOVE YA! KEEP ON BEING YOU!

:)

Where Have I Been?


This should be the new name for my blog!


I do have excuses....


As you all have read over and over again about my cataract problems and it's woes...


Add a CRASH OF MY COMPUTER!!!!! June 14th to my already mountain of woes!


My Hard Drive CRASHED!!!!!!


UNRECOVERABLE are words you never want to have to hear...


ESPECIALLY if your livelihood DEPENDS on it!


ESPECIALLY if you haven't backed-up your work since Feb.23!


Happily my Ex and I still talk to each other cause he came to my rescue and got me back up running again the very next day.


Only he couldn't restore ALL OF THAT LOST WORK!


Because this IDIOT kept putting off doing the back-up needed to ensure not losing it!


Remember me telling you all of the tire-kicking estimating that I had been doing and wasn't getting paid for it cause it was JUST estimates....

Well the majority of the "Just estimates" were lost, they were NEEDED not long after the crash...


Go Figure!


Which meant they all had to be redrawn all over again!


Not great news for someone with failing eyesight!


All of that wouldn't have been too bad if it wasn't for them all having a time limit!


Most was for the town's 100th birthday July 23. The town's Rec Director had made a push for getting advertising for the arena which would hold the ceremonies. Perfect for advertising which I was getting in on too.

Let me tell you....all of the signs did get done in time! Thanks to a hard working PoD and LONG hours!


Only they NEVER did get put up in time for the big event!


The lazy Rec Director never got around to it and from what reports I have heard he had PLENTY of time to do it?


Thankfully that wasn't my fault but my customer's are slow in paying for those signs BECAUSE of that fact of NOT getting their advertising that was promised! Guess it's Always MY fault!


During my work frenzy I missed updating my blog with useless info that's only important to me but have come to learn that it's an important memory tool for me too!


A lot of the lost info and important dates were recoverable because of my trivia drivel on my blog. I have used past stories to revive the info not filled in scrapbooks that haven't been updated either!


I'm very anal about recording stuff!


Only have to learn to get anal about UPDATING IT!


My Blog is kind of like a diary for me and really isn't meant to be there to entertain others in the world, which I really don't have to worry about seeing as only a few ever comment...;{


Things I did miss while the work frenzy was going on was attending Wilma's 40th birthday bash held in a hall not far from my house. It happened soon after my crash and I wasn't in any party mood...nor was PoD.

Happy Birthday Wilma....better late than never, I say!

Did have a gift for her that ended up in the dump! It has a weird story...

Seems I always find time for Garage Sales!

During the town-wide one I came across this gorgeous oldish looking mirror with neat ornate edgings...kind of gave me an idea about a mirror for her bar in their basement. The mirror was in excellent shape and even the backing looked kind of new like? The owner even said that she never hung it cause it never fit anywhere. My intent was to embellish it with a funny quote in vinyl somewhere on the surface area.
When I got the mirror home I stood it up facing my cutting machine and computer. It stood there for two days before a work day.
Right from the start we had problems with the machines. The computer didn't want to start? The cutter moved when it wasn't even turned on and both PoD and I witnessed it! From the moment I had brought the mirror into my place I had a dislike for it? It felt strange? Jokingly I said to PoD that it must be the mirror spooking the machinery and felt the urge to remove it from the place. So I put it outside in my storage vehicle with my Halloween decorations and forgot about it.
When I came back in, PoD said all was back to normal with the machines after I had left with the mirror...? Coincidence?
A few days later I went to retrieve the mirror to put the wording I had prepared for it, on it, when I found that the frame had broken away on the bottom. The frame was still stapled to the cardboard backing and that was still attached to the rest of it? The mirror had not been broken...just the frame and there was no way to pull it apart the way that it was without breaking the mirror. It had been a bit warm outside and was possible that the mirror could have expanded enough to force the frame to split...but why only one end?
I got a cold chill up my spine when I saw that and thought it through enough to cause me to question whether I wanted to give something with an odd aura about it to a friend not to mention ever wanting to have it around...so to the dump it went with a cleansing performed over it to make sure that the weirdness didn't hang around after it left!

The decal is still here for her if she wants it...:)

Anyways...

Other important info needed to be recorded was the fact that I have lived in this place now for 4 years...my the time has flown!


The grand kids left for their 3 week visit with their Alberta relatives on June 28 and that left exactly 3 days to work on getting Grad together. This meant rounding up lights and wrapping poles. I had shown in an earlier post the diamond theme this year and had big plans on making lots of cardboard ones....that never happened due to our rush.

The end result was because of a dream of someone else who had the courage to go it alone on the planning of majority of the decorating...

The entrance way table was her idea but the archway was mine. This was the last area to be decorated and was hastily put together. By the time we got to this spot all were tired [except for me] of decorating and it showed. But by then all didn't care either...except for me

The theme did not match the decoration theme? But how would one do that by that dumb saying anyways? I'm glad this was off to the side and not too noticeable.


This what the stage looked like. The bags on the floor in front of the head table all had the kids name on them and wasn't my idea either...:) This to hold all of their goodies?

The big diamond that sits in the center is a posing stool and is for their photo op after the ceremonies. The kids came out from the curtained area to the right and paraded around the stage then down the steps to their seat. The little shoes that you see in the foreground were done by me

The above photos shows the hall layout and their table centerpieces. The most awesome thing to me were the blue origami folded napkins that each held a peppermint patty in the center. This woman made over 200 of them...happily with no help from me!

Surprise of all surprises I have NO Orbs to point out to you all lurking on here...


This all my eyes can stand for now...I still have July to catch up on and that will include photos of the town's 100th, our HUGE parade, our float and even a Paranormal Investigation on the 29-30...this kills my eyes and gives me a headache so it may be slow

And maybe an update on the Darkside Zodiac for Cancer then one for Leo...


So stay tuned...:)

WHATS UP WITH ME...

Things haven't been going so good with me lately...

I been having issues with my eyes!

For some time now I have been unable to distinguish the difference between dark colors...like wearing one navy sock and one black one...not fun for someone who makes her living by using colors!

For the longest time I have had issues with age changing my eyes and looking through bi focal lenses became quite a challenge with perception in my drawings.

Then I noticed that my vision perception had changed in how I looked at things. I could see the object, knew what the object was but it began to have no details to it. Hard to understand unless you have gone through it.

Of course being diabetic I wondered if it was just a case of the sugars being too high...in which some cases it was, but not all of the time!

The biggest difference was in my left eye and any time on the computer [which is A LOT] gave me massive headaches! Typing any stories or pamphlet designing with lots of wording had become near impossible, so I've had to rely on PoD [daughter] to do all of these chores. Of course I couldn't ask her to do my blog so that's why there has been no activity here.

All of this has been very scary for me!

My livelihood depends on my eyesight!

Like the fool that I am sometimes I chose the business over my eye sight and put off having my eyes checked out [my last eye exam was in 04] and denial of what was happening to them didn't help either! Also the though of having to fork out more money that was slated for getting me out of debt didn't help either!

I don't have any extra health plan that covers eyes or dental problems so of course they would have to go on the back burners, so to speak!

Stupid thoughts for a 60 year old who's body is slowly beginning to breakdown!

Denial is a pretty big word!

Anyways...

Fortunately I have wonderful kids that look after me when I do these stupid things! My daughter came to my rescue and forced me to see an eye doctor on Monday!

The news wasn't good and he felt that I needed to see an eye physician immediately!

Talk about scary!

I'll take on all the scary ghosts in the courthouse any day compared to having that news given to me!

So that meant going home and wait for the appointment to happen...which had a possibility of a week to two week wait!

Didn't help either having a family history of a brother with a macular degenerative disease that has made him go blind and that its hereditary!

Thankfully yesterday morning I got a call that there was an opening and could I be there at 3:00!

Again poor PoD had to rescue me and drive me there, as even driving has been near impossible for me...;(

I also have to mention that my ex has come to the rescue many times with the use of his vehicle, as PoD's car is out of town right now with her husband.

Stress has been a BIG word lately and those who have IBS like I do means that the old bowels have been working overtime too!

I also have to mention that none of these eye doctors live in our small town! The first one was a hour away and the other a hour & half so we have gotten to see a lot of highway with boring scenery. Granted, it was scenery that I might never get to see again loomed heavily on my mind as we drove there!

Waiting at doctors offices has never been a pleasant thing for anyone and I'm no exception with it! It did have a TV that was stuck on the "Game Shows" to entertain those who were interested or maybe it was to take your mind off of what might be your future?

It was having magazines to read about what one might have that was the scariest for me! Especially the one on Macular Degenerative Disease!

I had all of the symptoms!

Visiting an eye doctor means lots of stuff is put in your eyes and lots of pictures been taken leaving one nearly blind by all of the searching being done which leads to headaches...

But in the end there was an answer...

I have cataracts in both eyes! The left one being the worst!

The thing is...you can't see them because they aren't on the surface! I remember my dad's and his made his eyes look milky looking...I don't have that! Mind are deeper?

Anyways...they are correctable!

:)

This will mean two different surgeries that's needed to correct them, but will leave me with not having to wear glasses except for up close work!

Gotta love that one!

The other fact...its covered by my general health care and won't cost me anything!

The glasses that I will need are those generic ones bought in drug stores and they are cheap!

WHY DID I WAIT SO LONG?

The moral of this story for me is...


STOP BEING AN ASS ABOUT WHAT'S IMPORTANT...

My health is more important than my financial problems... without it I wouldn't be able to do anything about it anyways...duh!

First it was my heart and now my eyes...

They say that age is supposed to make you smarter?

I wonder how old I have to be before that happens?

:(


Now time to go worry about the surgeries in which I will be awake for...

I can see that needle coming for my eye right now to freeze it...