ANOTHER MILE STONE FOR ME!
This a good thing and bad thing at the same time!
It's now been 1 whole year since I kicked the smoking habit...pot that is!
My agony and ecstasy with this habit has been on going since 1971! 36 long years of living in an altered state!
A sorry sight now that I think back on it!
The GOOD THINGS:
Some of my best ideas, designs and physical strength came from using that drug!
I was able to open my mind up to many great and even crazy ideas that helped my business flourish! My brain overflowed with ideas...even to the point of being overcrowded!
As for the emotional side, it kept me going through some of my roughest hours! It even held me together and gave me strength, mentally, to cope with the lack of partnership in my life! The person that I had chosen for my "life partner" turned out to be a bad thing for me and both my children and I suffered because of it!
Pot helped me "take that trip and I never had to leave the farm"!
As for the strength part...I could work for hours!
I still have bad feet and legs...pot smoking kept the pain down to a small roar!
The BAD THINGS:
I numbed myself to escape the mental and physical pain!
The downside about the long working hours was that it took it's toll on me physically! My legs and feet no longer are numb any more...this makes for long hours at night when I'm trying to sleep!
One of the worst thing about this habit...was the expense!
It wasn't expensive at first because I only used it occasionally...mostly on the weekends. But then it gradually worked into daily usage as things in my life got worse! Pot usage helped me deal with that part of my life that hurt me the most! It was a great escape medium! Others drink for escapism...I smoked!
Pot now had become my partner!
My children knew of my usage of this drug and why...I never kept it a secret from them! Of course this was told to them when they were old enough to understand why I needed it!
It was a great lesson for them also! I found that I spent more time with them when I was stoned than when I was straight [which wasn't very often]. Was I a bad parent...I don't think so! Pot makes a person mellow not ornery like alcohol does. I classified myself as a "functional" stoner...as strange as that may sound!
So why did I quit?
It also raised my blood pressure! With my heart problems this is not a good thing!
I had also got rid of my "partnership" problems and thus I no longer needed the "escape" medium!
Financially I'm better off...not richer but getting there!
I "joking" refer to myself as being perfect now!
-I don't drink alcohol [maybe 1 beer a year...for my friends who think I'm missing out on not joining them]!
-I don't smoke cigarettes [did try when I was a teenager...found I was allergic]!
-I don't need a man in my life to exist! Best one ever!
-And now I NO LONGER SMOKE POT!
So if it wasn't for my messy nature and not caring whether my house is clean or not [I used to HAVE to be a clean freak]! I would be perfect!
So what do I do now for excitement....
I'm still battle with wanting to...
"Take that trip...cause I can't afford to leave the farm[business]"!!!
I'M AFRAID with me IT WILL ALWAYS BE, ONE DAY AT A TIME.....