Friday, February 27, 2009


A VERY BLACK HEART DAY!

Dear Buttons:

Has it only been 5 years since your untimely death?
It seems like it was only yesterday!

Waking with tears flooding out of my eyes IS an appropriate way to start this terrible day! My tears are for you and a lot for me...I seem to be selfish that way!

I don't wish this type of grief on anyone [well maybe one] and it's been a long, long sad journey without you!

I'm sorry sis, but the rage and anger is still there!

Today my heart is the deepest black!

I'm sorry but I still can't forgive him for ending your life! [read full story Feb 27, 2007 post...I'd link it but don't know how]

I've heard he's finally having a rough time of it and is back on the bottle again...showing everyone around him his true face!

We BOTH knew how it was with him...sadly you loved him anyways!

They say he regrets his moving in with her too soon [4 mon]after the funeral. I hope you have been haunting them both...I would have!

I hope the thought of what he did to you eats him alive!

Sadly, your children still have to deal with that...:( BUT we both know they must be used to seeing him that way!

Hearing he's this way warms my heart better than hearing about his new love life, gifts he showers on her, travel plans of cruises...mostly the things he refused to do for you!

Drinking is now breaking them apart...:)


I have some heart warming news for you...your son is getting married in Aug, close to your birthday] to the girl that you approved of. I'm helping her with the decorations but wished that your were here to do them instead.

But some sad news too...your daughter needs your help! Her marriage is falling apart and she's trying to keep it together by wanting to get pregnant. Hope you can give her a helping hand? Knowing you, I feel that your spirit is still around us because I have felt your presence near me! Probably wishful thinking on my part.

I still spend many a day remembering our last times together and I will cherish those thoughts for ever. I can only wish that I have someone [besides my children] that will remember me with the same heart felt fondness!

REST IN PEACE....BUTTONS

You will NEVER be forgotten by me!

Your loving and very lost sister....Bones

Monday, February 23, 2009

BACK IN THE LAND OF THE LIVING?

Not that I was near death...just felt like it! Today is the first day I have wanted to do anything!

I too, am tired of seeing that same "Boxing Day" crap as anyone and updating my diary must be done.

First update on the computer problems...which are still on going!

The purchase of the big monitor turned out to be more expensive than it should have, but if I had kept up with technology it wouldn't have been.

Yup, I had to buy a new computer! Thankfully my son had purchased one last year and he sold me his [still got the 2007 tax write-off].

I HATE having to upgrade more than anything! The expense is bad when business is slow but that's not what bugs me the most. It's the copying of the old files/fonts to the new one and then setting up a system to accept/send your emails. Everything still hasn't been moved over.

Getting your children [they are my computer geeks] to sit down and help you is another! This old dog does not learn new tricks easy and computer knowledge flies right over my head! Running a business cannot wait for tomorrow plus customers have no care whether your having problems or not! Alas my kids differ in their knowledge and the one who does the email thing [PoD] got sick too! Right now I receive emails sporadically and cannot send them out! Normally the first two months of the year are slow [the poor economy doesn't help] but this year they actually want stuff done. Excuses being made, sound feeble...even to me!

February 3:
I had just bragged to PoD about how amazingly healthy I've been lately [ year and half] only to be laid low by the dreaded cold/flu/sinusitis/chest/head congestions. My sinusitis problems have a tendancy to put me into the hospital they get so bad and with having previous Broncial/Pnemonia it can be worrysome.

If that wasn't enough, I decided to go sockless causing a rub mark just below the right ankle. This decided to become a festering lession! Naturally I had to make sure that everything it got soooo bad that I had to visit our only doctor [whom I detest]! All who follow my blog know I have Diabetes and that healing takes forever! Taking antibiotics leads to yeast infection but it was the only course to take! Its taken 2 different doses?

I've had sores on my foot before but this one is insane! The pain got sooooo bad sometimes that the calf/arch muscles cramped up...sleeping was near impossible [still is]! It didn't help that my right foot is the one I start out with in walking, stair climbing, driving...etc. Standing for any amount of time unbearable! In order for one to get better when they are sick is to move around but how does one do that with pain shooting up the leg? Soaking it was the only relief, but can be done only so often. The cream for the lession helped but a bandaid in that area has a hard time staying on! Putting a sock on a swollen foot hurts, yet had to be worn in order to keep my foot from freezing [poor circulation] but ended up pulling on the bandage! Screaming only scares people!

So between my illness and foot problems, life has been hell! Being sick made me realize that the dryer wasn't shrinking my clothes after all because now they feel roomy again? Thankfully I feel that I am back on the road to recovery! The foot is still sore but I am able to hobble around enough to get the groceries I want. I'm sure both my kids got tired about having to deal with this whiny old person! The good thing about being ill/lack of food, was that it helped to bring my sugars down. Although they were scary at times in the early hours...quite low, enough to wake me up! So between the pain and low sugar, sleeping was in bits of a time...lots of naps.

For the business how does this excuse sound to you?

Them: "Have you got my stuff ready for me [it's been like...2 wks now]?"
Me: "Sorry I've been sick with the cold/flu thats going around" [my head has been too thick to think let alone come up with a fantastic ideal that will make YOUR business run]
Them: "When do you think you'll be well enough"
Me: "Um...I also have this sore on my foot is so painful that sitting/standing/walking/thinking is near impossible"
Them:.....silence ["yeah, sure?"]
Me: "Hopefully soon?"[I'm not a doctor and knowing when I will be better...? Like I want to feel this way?]

It gets to the point where I don't even want to answer the phone anymore!

Poor PoD got sick with the flu/cold/cough about 2 weeks after me and had to contend with the birthdays this month. Her Dad's was on the 11th, her son JD, brother-in-law & me on the 18th. Bought cake worked just fine. Hopefully she gets better as of this morning she still has her cough.

So I turned 58 and as the "Great One" said " I'm happy just to wake up on the right side of the grass"!

So now you know what I know.....