Tuesday, February 27, 2007

I HATE THIS DAY!!!
Three years ago today I received the phone call everyone dreads!
My younger sister died in a tragic farm accident!
An accident that could have been prevented!
I remember telling her to work safe…and she didn’t!
They say that time heals all wounds so why is it that I feel like it was only yesterday!
There was only 18 months difference in our ages and our mom dressed us like twins. Even our relatives couldn’t tell us apart! So that’s probably why I feel like I’ve lost my twin!
We had only just found each other again and our last year together was wonderful…so full of memories!
That whole year was magical for me and yet quite puzzling?
Her husband was a stickler for her helping out on the farm and usually she had to beg him to take the time to come and see me [we lived only 2 hrs apart]!
We celebrated Easter, took in the town wide garage sale [garage “sailing” was our favorite past time], she helped me put a float together for the parade [we won first prize in the commercial sector] and we rode together while in that parade. That was the first time the parade ever had a bagpipe band [since the 23 yrs been here] and it was right in front of us…she said that they had it just for her because it was her favorite…they haven’t had one since. We attended a gift show in Edmonchuk [Aug] and used that time together to do a memory lane trip. We parked my trailer on our old home site [which is now the exhibitions parking lot] right beside one of the trees that we used to climb as kids. We went swimming in the outdoor pool that we use to train in [our family was into competitive swimming] and was grossed out by the unhealthy condition that it was in so we swam in the other indoor pool near the area. We used these times as our daily shower and clean up. For her birthday we went to the Storyland Valley Zoo where we learned that the zoo was first located in the park near our home…we used to go there a lot when we were kids! We even visited the flower/plant conservatory before going back home.
We did a memory lane about our past as we traveled back and her memory was better than mine. She remembered our nick-name that we had for each other. Hers was “Buttons” and mine was “Bones”…I guess way back when I was crazy about Halloween!
The odd part of the story is that I was very unhealthy at that time and was even sick on the way home. I had this bad feeling that made me feel like I was going to die soon and we talked a lot about death and how we would like our funerals to be? Being too sick to drive home I stayed over night at her house and headed out early in the morning with a feeling that I was never coming back to her place! Which I never have been!
I thought that would be our last time together yet we were able to go camping and she came to see me again at Halloween. She loved doing up the courthouse for the event and was sad that we were not going to be doing it again until the year after that. She even came back to help out on those nights and helped take stuff down afterwards.
We saw each other again at Xmas time and when we parted I had the strongest urge to hug her but didn’t [our family wasn’t the hugging type…something I have since changed] this is something I will regret forever!
It was the happiest year for the both of us! I did mention it to her but thought maybe her husband was changing for the better…I wasn’t going to complain.
I received a gift from her in the mail for my birthday.
The card gave me quite a shock and my heart felt like it fell to the floor when I opened it!
The front was all black and said “My Deepest Condolences”!
Inside was written “On the passing of your youth” Happy Birthday Anyway…Love your younger sister.
Her gift to me was a little fairy [angel?] sitting on a basket of strawberries?
We didn’t normally buy gifts for each other but that last year we did?
The last time I spoke to her was on my birthday where we joked about the card and my reaction to it.
Nine days later she was dead!
Her passing brought our family together once again at her funeral…if only for that moment!
What it has taught me is that life is too short and I value the closeness of my other younger sister even more so! Without her I would be lost! We three girls used to be the “Three Musketeers”.
I have also become closer to my older brother “Tank” and my sister-in-law ever since then and they to me!
I am happy for that!
I wish I could be closer to my niece and nephew but sadly I am not. Although she does visit us from time to time and she has gotten closer to PoD and that makes me happy!
The bad thing is my hate for my brother-in-law!
I first felt sorry for him because of his involvement until he found love with another woman, only four short months after his wife’s death?
That only increased my questions about my sister’s death?
This is a boil that is still festering!
Time doesn’t necessarily heal all wounds!
Mine are still bleeding!
Color this day BLACK!!!

1 comment:

Headgirl said...

I was saddened by your story!